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Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Meow-Meow! Woof-Woof! Please Smoke Outdoors

Hello my human friends, I am Mr. Luxurious Greezoo Diamond and I am your cat avatar. I insist you look at my luxurious silver fur and pet me every time you walk by. You are walking by me regularly, I hope? And can you pick up some of that high caliber catnip on your way to the mall? I like windows, strings, tiny moving objects emitting red points of light, melted vanilla ice cream and being petted while I eat my food. Please remember to vacuum my long hair daily as I loathe being brushed.

 Actually, there is nothing I hate more, abhor more than those disgusting burning things some of you humans have dangling from your mouths. So unsightly, a real fire hazard next to my luxurious fur.
Do I have to keep running away to another room and rolling my eyes? Please understand, I am only 12 pounds, with very tiny lungs that have to work overtime in comparison to yours to beat the second-smoke. So please stay tuned to my master chef and housekeeper Nikki Diamond's assiduous notetaking here. We your beloved furry friends want all you smokers to take it outside, because every cigarette you smoke, we are smoking along with you! Grrrrrrr! 

Note: Nikki wanted a pet bird, but not after I came along, haha! The pet store told her that if she heated up any teflon coated frying pans the bird could get sick. So be extremely sure never to smoke around your pet birds. I'm being super kind here, I know. 

Now, remember, y'all. Vet bills don't come cheap. Practice prevention. Thanks for stopping by and admiring my silver tresses.

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